


Pieces

by Thrace Addicted (Amidala_Thrace)



Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-09
Updated: 2010-10-09
Packaged: 2017-10-12 13:29:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/125369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amidala_Thrace/pseuds/Thrace%20Addicted
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They're not stopping her and for once she is not stopping herself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pieces

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Friday's [Daily Pilots Post](http://community.livejournal.com/no_takebacks/107636.html) at No Takebacks on LJ, because I'm rather unnaturally obsessed with the _Sacrifice_ arc. ;) Reposted here just for the record. :) This officially pops my comment!fic cherry, too!

She knows he's there before she sees him. But when is he _not_ there?

Helo's job, always, is to pick up the pieces.

Kara whirls in the opposite direction. She doesn't know where she's going and she doesn't need to know. Just _away_. Away from what she's done. Like guilt's a physical thing you can leave in the dust.

Of course he calls out.

"Kara?"

Not _Starbuck_. _Kara_.

She should keep running. Keep going.

" _What_ , Helo?" Spoken tightly, through clenched teeth.

"What's going on in there?" Somehow he's caught up to her, and she gets the unpleasant sense that he could be talking about either sickbay or her own head.

"You saw." Her hands go to her hips. "Hostage incident. The president's assistant was killed. Terrorists are dead too. Lee —"

But there she stops.

Helo picks up the slack, his gaze wide and concerned. "Lee was shot."

Kara's eyes close, and she hears again the radio transmission she made to the Old Man.

 _It was friendly fire. Lee got hit by friendly fire. … I think it was me._

She nods in response to Helo's statement. Tenses her muscles to run again.

"So why aren't you in there with him?" He grips her shoulder, and just as quickly she pulls away.

"Dee's there." Kara shrugs, like this explains everything. "She'll be with him when he wakes up."

 _If_ , taunts an ugly voice in her mind.

"So because Dee's there, you're not allowed to visit him?" Helo asks. He's all innocence, but there's a shrewd calculation behind the question.

"I didn't say that," Kara snaps.

Deep sigh from her friend. "Look, Kara, I know he'll want to see you. Even if it's just for a few minutes." A small smile creases Helo's face. "Maybe he's waiting to wake up because you're not there."

"Don't be dumb, Karl." The harshness of her words pulls her mind away from Lee in that bed hooked up to those tubes and the knowledge that she's the one who put him there. "I am the _last_ frakking person he needs to see right now so just —" Anger and guilt war within her. "Just _lay off_."

"Fine." He touches her arm again, and this time she lets him, drained of resistance. "But I know if I were the one in that bed, I'd want a friend with me. No matter what else happened."

The truth hovers on the tip of her tongue: _I shot him. It was me._ But it's too much. Too damn many pieces for even Helo to pick up this time.

Helo embraces her as she stands stiffly, squeezes her once, and relents. He starts to walk away, then turns back like he's just remembered something. "Kara?"

" _What?_ " She's slumped against the bulkhead. It's holding her up because nothing else can.

"I'm going in there. Just to check on him." Helo gestures to sickbay. "You coming with?"

"Helo, I already _said_ —"

"I won't stay long. Gotta go down to Sharon. But I want to see how Lee's doing."

She could run. She could turn and run and get away and nothing more would ever be said.

Slowly Kara peels herself off the wall.

It would be so easy.

She takes one step toward Helo. Another.

He's already at the door of sickbay.

Suddenly they're both through.

Through the door and walking toward his bed and she tells herself she can leave at any time, she can turn around and retrace her steps, Helo would never know, she can run _now_ and again she tenses her muscles to turn —

But they've reached the bed.

Nothing has changed. Lee still lies there, deathly pale, almost gray, the tubes and beeping monitors surrounding him like greedy vultures. Dee still holds his hand in hers. It seems he's barely breathing; Kara has to stare at his chest for several moments before she notes movement.

Helo's talking quietly with Dee, inquiring after Lee's condition, and then he brings up Billy and Kara _knows_ she ought to say something, but she's got nothing left to give. Karl does the whole comfort thing better anyway. He knows exactly what Dee needs. He knows that a hand squeezing her shoulder will be accepted and even welcomed.

Kara just stares at Lee.

She wills him to wake up.

She wills him to stay asleep.

Suddenly she wants to touch him, to take his hand, but Dee's already got that covered.

So she leans in. Squirms around the IV pole and the heart monitor and the tubes and wires until she's _right beside him_ and she forces her feet to stay rooted to the floor. She makes her hand snake out to stroke his hair. Just once, and when he doesn't react, she does it again, again, again.

Kara becomes aware that the conversation between Helo and Dee has ceased. But somehow that's not important anymore.

They're not stopping her and for once she is not stopping herself.

She sucks in a breath when Lee stirs, just slightly, his eyes fluttering beneath their lids and his head turning, slowly, into her touch.

But she doesn't stop.

Just keeps picking up the pieces.


End file.
